Photo:FOX
American Idol got a little more serious last night as 147 hopefuls arrived at Los Angeles’ famed Kodak Theatre (did they mention it’s famous? Really? Six times, you say?) for Hollywood Week. The judges’ goal was simple — “All we’re looking for is a star,” explained Simon Cowell — and in the interest of sparing us from the sight of gawky, ungroomed singers like a pre-makeover Clay Aiken, producers let their teams of stylists and makeup artists loose … as well as Barry Manilow, who showed up to mentor. Eliminations were swift and relatively painless: singers took the stage in batches of eight to sing whatever they chose a cappella (time to start whining about song choice), and anyone who passed moved to the next round. Insert tears, whoops of joy and Ryan Seacrest hugs here.
At the end of the first two days of Hollywood Week, 104 singers were still standing. Here’s a quick rundown:
Ones to Watch:
• We love Lil Rounds because her name sounds like an appetizer at the Cheesecake Factory and she managed to sing Whitney without getting destroyed by the judges.
• Smooth Anoop Desai may have undone the damage Sanjaya Malakar inflicted upon South Asian singers with only 14 seconds of screen time.
• Nick Mitchell has dropped his Norman Gentle persona, but kept his sparkly shirt and wit. Bonus props for being the only Idol contestant in history who’s in on the joke.
• Roughneck Jeremy Michael Sarver is a long way from his oil rig — and therefore the perfect Idol success story. They’ll be milking this one for weeks.
• Jamar Rogers is “different and relevant” according to Randy. He’s kind of a mix of Andre 3000, Pharrell and someone who can sing.
Meh:
• Rose Flack was struggling to find her voice in rehearsals, but delivers “Sittin’ on the Dock of the Bay” convincingly — perhaps because she is still barefoot, and therefore Bay-ready.
• Jackie Tohn from New York gets her gravely voice on, but may be a tad too much personality for America.
• Like Ida Maria, Simon and Randy like bikini girl Katrina Darrell so much better when she’s naked.
• Rocker Emily Wynne-Hughes’ No Doubt song wasn’t nearly as bad as the judges implied, but it was no “Barracuda.”
Ones to Wipe From Your Memory With Bleach:
• Dennis Brigham had over-exaggerated facial expressions, and an over-exaggerated reaction to getting cut.
• Nathanial Marshall’s voice was beautiful, but he looked and talked like an emo tornado: “It’s on my skin, it just bursts out of me anytime I’m onstage, I don’t know why.”
• Von Smith a.k.a. Effie White from Dreamgirls, was “really annoying,” per Simon. The nation concurs.
Thanks for the Memories:
• There weren’t too many hissyfits at the start of Hollywood Week. Thank you, Jesus Valenzuela, for being a biatch.
